Knowing Yourself: Insight, Intention, and the Path to Fulfillment in Life and Love

Mara B. Edmunds, LMFT
Jun 25
5 min read

Updated: Jul 13

Couple in kitchen, man feeds woman a slice of fruit. They smile, cooking on stove. White tile background, shelves with jars, cozy vibe. Finding the love of your life. The journey of finding your soulmate.

By Mara B. Edmunds, Licensed Psychotherapist

Discover the life you're meant to live and the relationships that align with it.

At some point in life, whether in our quiet moments alone or in the company of someone we trust, we’re all called to ask ourselves difficult, meaningful questions. Questions about who we are, where we’re going, and whether we and the people around us are truly aligned with the life we’re meant to live.

This article is an invitation to pause, reflect, and ask yourself honest questions about identity, purpose, love, and partnership. Whether you’re single, in a long-term relationship, or somewhere in between, these reflections are meant to guide you toward deeper insight and intentional living. Ready? I invite you to open your notes app or take out an old fashioned piece of paper and choose 3 or more questions below to answer. Your brain will clearly tell you which ones are meant just for you, you'll see. Here we go...

Man in a bus gazes out the window, reflecting in the glass. He wonders about his worth and what kind of partner he wants to be and have.

Personal Insight and a Plan

What brings me deep personal fulfillment?
What kind of legacy do I hope to leave behind and who decides what truly matters most?
In what ways might I be standing in my own way?
Do I know and take ownership of who I am and what I need?
What are my growth areas, and do I have a solid plan to tend to them with intention and care?

Understanding How I Define Worth and Contribution

Do I accurately value what I contribute, or do I dismiss it because it doesn’t look “impressive”?
Am I minimizing small but powerful acts of care simply because they don’t seem grand enough?
What measuring stick am I using to define worth and who gave it to me? Were they healthy?
Do I give myself credit for the care I offer to myself?
Am I waiting for someone else to model healing before I allow myself to grow?

Woman in a white sweater writing in a notebook at a wooden table by a sunny window. Books are stacked nearby, with a cozy sofa behind. She journals on her life goals and what brings her meaning and fulfillment.

Do I Expect Others to Define or Heal Me?

Am I turning to someone else to fix my inner wounds or tell me who I am?
What would it look like to reclaim that power for myself?
Do I expect my partner or future partner to be my therapist, life coach, or savior?
Is that fair or sustainable?
If I acknowledge a Higher Power, how can I invite deeper understanding?

Clarifying Who I Am and My Inner Narrative

What makes me feel most alive?
Where do I hope to be personally, professionally, and relationally in ten years?
Am I moving with clarity or drifting without intention?

Woman in blue dress uses a walkie-talkie on a film set. Crew with camera nearby. Sunny outdoor scene with blurred urban background. She is passionate about her love of film and the richness it brings to her life.

Being Honest About My Challenges

Have I entered relationships due to pressure from myself or others, or is it something I truly desire?
Do my daily habits and values align with the life of someone in a healthy partnership?
Is there actually room in my life for another person without compromising my priorities?
Do I truly show curiosity and compassion towards the emotional wellbeing of my loved ones, and would they concur?
Do I carry a false assumption that everyone should be in a relationship?
Is it possible for me to respect someone who decides they prefer to be single?

What Do I Hope to Offer?

What strengths and resources do I bring to a relationship?
Do I believe in their value or only see worth through how others respond to me?
How should I respond if my perspective upsets my partner? Can I accommodate both perspectives, or must I insist my partner agrees with me?
Do I silence myself to avoid conflict? At what cost?
Have I developed the skillset to communicate my thoughts and needs with clarity and kindness?

Two people in conversation at a wooden table in a modern cafe with abstract art on the walls. The atmosphere is engaged and friendly. The pair discuss what makes life meaningful and brings them purpose.

Relational Compatibility

What traits in a partner complement my path and purpose?
Can I describe the type of person I would willingly choose to prioritize and make room for in my life as opposed to a person who would only be deserving of my leftovers?
What red flags, either in a partner or in myself, should not be ignored?
Do I accept this partner or potential partner for everything they are and are not in the present?
Does being with this person violate my values, priorities, or makes me abandon a life dream?
If I'm feeling uncertain, who can assist me in gaining clarity on this?

Facing Discrepancies That Trigger

Is my inner confusion triggering my current partner or vice versa?
Could we be inadvertently preventing each other from healing and truly feeling fulfilled in life?
Is it wise for me to remain in this relationship with its push-and-pull dynamic?
Could my uncertainty be causing me to send mixed signals to my partner?

Elderly couple in formal attire, sitting in a dark theater, reviewing a program. Red curtains in the background create an elegant mood. They share interests and enjoy each other's company.

Long-Term Relationship Discrepancy and Incompatibility

Do I feel stuck, hopeless, or unseen in my current relationship?
Has emotional distance or betrayal damaged the foundation?
Have I outgrown the version of partnership we originally created?
Am I blaming my partner for my own unspoken or evolving needs?
Can I take responsibility and also hold compassion for how we’ve changed?
Am I remaining in this version of our relationship due to fear or with a purpose?
Do I need help making sense of whether to heal this connection or release it?

Map to Relational Clarity and Health

Have I clearly invited my partner into the life I’m building with awareness?
Do they value the direction I'm taking and who I am?
Have I communicated the truth about myself kindly, clearly, and with intention to timing?
Can I honor us both enough to be honest about a possible misalignment in our relationship?
Are we both capable, ready, and desiring to establish a new relationship together?

Smiling couple sitting on grass in a garden, surrounded by plants and flowers. The woman wears denim, and the man wears a light blue shirt. The couple has learned how to balance their individuality with their bond of togetherness.

The Path to Forward Movement

Have I taken adequate responsibility for addressing any uncertainties regarding my identity and future?
Do I know what I need and what kind of support aligns with that?
Where am I stuck or overwhelmed?
Could working with a qualified therapist, mentor, or spiritual guide to support my next season of growth?
What small, courageous step can I take today to move forward?

Final Thought

You are not alone in asking these questions. You are not wrong for wanting clarity and you are not selfish for seeking alignment with who you truly are.

Insight takes courage. But it opens the door to the most authentic, fulfilling version of your life and love.

Feeling inspired to explore these questions more deeply? Take a moment today to journal your thoughts or bring one of these reflections into your next conversation with a trusted friend, partner, or therapist.

If you’d like guidance on your path to personal clarity or relational insight, Mara and her team offer compassionate, personalized support for individuals, families, and couples.

Reach out today to schedule a consultation.

***Disclaimer: This article is meant for educational purposes only and not meant to take the place of your licensed mental healthcare provider or your physician.

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About the Author

Mara B. Edmunds, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Texas. With years of clinical experience helping individuals and couples navigate identity, trauma, and relational health, Mara is passionate about guiding people toward intentional living and aligned relationships. Her approach is warm, grounded, and rooted in deep curiosity.

To learn more or inquire about services, visit www.hopefulharbor.com.